The following is an open letter to a rain-boots-wearing woman, who I affectionately named Stompy.
Dear Stompy,
I admired your rain boots with brightly colored flowers from afar. Not knowing me at all, you would not know that I have a fine appreciation (well, borderline obsession) for anything rain boots. I love my rain boots, I buy books just because they have rain boots on the cover, etc. So, as I walked up behind you, I liked you on the principle that you were wearing a fun pair of rain boots.
Then, we started walking up the stairs outside.
I’m not sure you that you have ever paid attention that the stairs leading up to campus are slightly sloped downward, which causes deep puddles to form on each individual step. I’m also not sure why you walked in a normal fashion until you reached the stairs, at which point you began stomping up the stairs. As if you were angry with the very existence of the stairs, causing you to inadvertently exercise when you didn’t want to be bothered. I am not sure you initially realized that your misplaced-angry stomping was causing dirty rain water to spray several feet behind you, soaking the front of my coat and pants.
When I yelled, “Excuse me” and you glanced backwards and continued stomping, and I had to wait at the bottom of the stairs because you have no social cognizance of people not wanting to be doused in freezing cold water… at that point, I’m sure you realized all of the previously mentioned factors.
Despite your rain boots, I no longer like you. While I enjoy stomping in puddles, I do not do so to the detriment of the people around me. You are not worthy of fun rain boots.
Sincerely,
The Girl Who Loves Rain Boots
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