Someone Else's Kids

As many of you know (or maybe don't know), Casey and I are licensed foster parents. After a 2 year process and waiting, we got our first placement last week.

It was emergency care, short-term, and extremely stressful but rewarding...

We knew it would be overwhelming and saddening going into it. Our bottom line reason for wanting to be foster parents is to help children in need and provide them with a stable and safe home for however long that they need. Yes, we know it will be difficult, yes, we know it will be hard to let go, but it's harder for them to not have a place where they feel safe and loved.

Going into it with all of the foster parent prep, and having worked with children for 10 years, I still was not prepared for the overwhelming flood of emotions...

I can deal with tough behaviors, I can make routines and games, I can be nurturing and loving... But the hardest part was being tossed together with a fragile child who is hurt, sad, and confused... times two. Taking two children for our first go-round was probably not the best idea for first time 'parents.'

There are so many things that, as a foster parent, you don't know and you don't know to expect to know until you're in it. Do these children have allergies? Do they love certain foods? Do they have a bath/bed/food routine? Do they have a stuffed animal/blanket/pacifier that was left behind by someone who didn't know to bring it? Do they sleep with music/lights on/covers on?

When you're preparing for a pregnancy and birth, you have 9 months (give or take) to physically and mentally prepare. You have the materials/furniture/toys you need. When you're called to your foster parent duties, you have sometimes less than an hour to rearrange your entire life to make these children feel as welcome and loved as possible.

Were Casey and I the most successful foster parents in the world? No, I'm sure we weren't and I'm sure there were a million things we could have done different/better. But... did we provide as safe/comfortable/loving of a home as possible for 48 hours to minimize transition and discomfort? Yes, I think we did.

Most importantly, we cared for two children when someone else could not and until they could go with another family member. And we learned A LOT - an overwhelming cram of information in a whirlwind of 48 hours. We will be so much better prepared for the next rewarding upheaval.

But next time, we will only take one child!